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I got so drunk the other night that I cheated on my boyfriend in front of him and all my coworkers and the guy I cheated with was a fellow coworker.
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Last Thursday I got so drunk I decided to take random hallucinogens. I woke up at 2 pm just in time for a final exam or so I thought. I got to the library and realized it was only 11am and I am still drunk/tripping. For some reason I thought it was a good idea to go to the liquor store and drink more to level out the what ever god forsaken drug I was on. All I remember is that I looked like hammered shit for the test and told everyone I was up all night studying... and drinking. I walked around campus with my head on the ground never looking up because I was afraid I would freak out. The next day I found out I had gotten a C on the exam somehow. The teacher asked me if I was drunk on the exam day. I said, "I've never been drunk before in my life." She said, "Really? Because you told me; What? Like you've never been drunk before? on exam day!" I just sighed, "I don't remember that..."
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I was 16 and decided to have a party whilst my parents were away. We built a bonfire and a BBQ. I got so drunk I forgot the sausages and burnt the lot. We ran out of wood for the fire and whilst I passed out the boys decided to look for wood.

The next day I woke to find a huge open wound across my leg (no idea how that got there) and discovered all the garden fencing panels had disappeared onto the bonfire. What was funny was my dad had also been to a party, came home drunk and didn't notice that a mile of fencing surrounding the property had vanished.

I had also disappeared into someone else's tent and ended up with someone other than my boyfriend and had no idea what id been up to.
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It was a summer day about 3 years ago and I had been invited to a work colleagues wedding, I'm not really that close to him as he is a bit of a fat mong. Any way I accepted.

I was all dressed up ready for the day. It wasn't in a church but was in a hotel in my town which was much better, but we new the drinks were going to be expensive.

We got to the hotel about 10am and all filled into the room and took our seats. The inside of my suit jacket was rammed with a hit flask and that was to the rim with spiced rum which even when mixed with fizzy pop gets you shitted off your tittys. The rest of the bottle was smuggled in under my friends baby buggy, word had got round with a few of my friends at the wedding that I was packing heat and the hit flask started to get passed around even when the bride entered and wobbled to the front we were chugging the hit flask.

Then after all the boring shit we hit the bar and started drinking stupid amounts of alcohols. Now we jump forward to about 8pm when some how one of my good friends managed to get into the wedding as someone's plus 1. The bride and groom had no clue who this guy was but in good spirit let it fly.

This friend is a 1 man eating and drinking wreaking machine with no shame and no manners (also borderline retarded) and I have countless stories that revolve around him. Any-ways he turns up sees we are all smashed up and plays catch up downing pint after pint at the bar followed by sambooka shots and anything he can get his massive ginger hands on.

After a good 2 hours of solid drinking we are told that the buffet is open, after he does his stretching and deep breathing excersizes he does before getting balls deep in food he hits the buffet destroying it with in 20 mins, the buffet looked like someone had hit it with a truck.

After eating his body weight in buffet snacks, the drunk over fed sweaty mess hits the dance floor with his best move on repeat. THE MOTHER FUCKING WORM. BAM the worm followed by the worm and then more worm, this went on for about 45 min till it hit him......... I'm gunna be sick he was to drunk and retarded to move so with a little help we got him outside where he sicked everything up. There was buffet going everywhere some of it still intact and looking exactly like it did on the plate. The sick was everywhere even destroying a £60 pair of shoes I had brought just for the day. Eventually he stoped sicking and we got him home and put him to bed, and a good time was had by all. except the bride and groom who were a little upset about the hole thing.

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A couple months ago I was drinking Christmas ale, vodka and wine in my cousins attic (his room) with my cousins and his friends. I decided it was time to go to bed, since it was around 4:00 and brought over the trash can and quickly fell asleep. The next day my cousins told me that when they were playing the Xbox I started to puke in the trash can, but half of it wasn't going in the trashcan, so I brought the trash can closer and it ended up spilling all over myself, then I said "Fuck it." and continued to puke all over my chest. I had woken up covered in puke.

To this day they still bring up the story.
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It was coming up to the Christmas period and I was sinking beers to get myself merry and in the festive spirit. Being bored and not having much to do I thought I'd start casually beating off to some of those dirty birds on the internet and pounded it like my life depended on it. It was at this point that my mum barged into my room. Beer fueled and so utterly sick of her ignoring my requests to knock before entering, I slowly swiveled round on my chair, fully exposed, standing half mast.

I snapped at her bitterly "This is what you see, this is what happens when you burst into my room uninvited." She stood there shocked with a bundle of freshly wrapped gifts for my grandparents, sheepishly she asked me to sign them. I put the gifts on my bare ass naked lap. My sweaty ball sacks making good contact with the underside of each gift. "Dear nan and grandad, merry Xmas, lots of love." My mum promptly left the room and I finished what I had started. She is now excellent at knocking and waiting before entering.
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It was my friend's stag night and we had dressed up as pirates and zombies. Each team had to score points by getting various photos in different types of situations. I thought I'd rack up some points by getting my photo taken with two really fat old women. I gave one of them my sword to hold and she was rubbing it all over my crotch whilst my friends all took pictures. Afterwords I turned around to claim back my sword only to find the women intensively sniffing it. *Shudder*
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Hi everybody! This is FREDDY's friend, a couple of years back we lived in London, there was only one month to go to my friends bday and he went to thrist bar, the bar locates on greek street in soho... Freddy was too much shit faced that night cause of some mojitos, tequila shots and a bottle of Pure vodka. As everyone knows, this bar has a lower ground floor and this guy began to throw up in the cloak room and made his way straight to the toilet haha but it was at the back of the lower ground floor, he threw up over the entire bar, also my clothes were a mess cause I tried to stop that holding his mouth with my hands... once in toilet we fell down and nearly broke my ribs, I was also fucked up, then I lost my wallet haha God def blesses us!
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